Wednesday, 8 August 2012

Stairgate Gate

Dear Kiddiecare.
You may have bedazzled me by your bargain price Baby Dan Stair Gates.   I may have scooped up 3 in a gluttonous rage and raced them to the car before anyone could stop me.  I bet you even laughed at my innocence that I believed the rock bottom prices were because they weren’t in the original packaging, and not because they had pieces missing, IMPORTANT pieces missing.  I should have put two and two together, or asked - I grant you.  But I want you to know that it didn’t defeat me, and that I stand victorious like a warrior at the end of a battle - Bloody, sweaty and tired...but proud, stronger and in need of a good cuppa.
Your first move in this fight was to withhold the instructions.  Yes I stumbled I admit it, and I bet you thought you had the advantage.  But I kept going, using what raw DIY skill I could remember from my design and technology GCSE.  Another blow from you – a missing screw.  But in a gravity defying Neo (from the Matrix) move, I replaced it with one from my tool box.  Yes you heard me right.  MY tool box.  I bet you didn’t expect me to come so prepared.   I have a drill too, THAT’S NOT MY HUSBANDS. 
And then you left your most lethal move to last.  How could you?  You didn’t provide the screw template.  I could have fallen at this news, I almost vomited with despair.  In this hard and messy battle you fought your hardest, but no matter how many balls you threw at me I just kept throwing them back in your face. But I’m here to tell you Kiddiecare, that (despite the odd left over plastic bits I have)  I STAND TALL.  I AM VICTORIOUS.  I AM DIY MUM, HEAR ME ROAR.
*beats chest*.

Kiddiecare really is a wonderful company, and an amazing store (no really - it has a whole floor dedicated to prams and even has test tracks...awesome).  It was my fault for buying the one off's and not checking the bits.  But this post was just too much fun to write, and I had to post.

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