Thursday, 13 September 2012

But Why? Get your own back and ask lots of questions

I was tagged by the must follow lilandreal over at Five's a Fellowship to join in with "But Why"?  It was started by Mummy Central and is an opportunity to ask a load of questions back to our kids after how in-exhaustible their questions can be.  

My Questions
Why do you slap your food repeatedly like its a basketball?

Why are you still waking up at night?

Why when I come to you at night do you think it's play time, when we've NEVER played at night?

Why are you ill on a Wednesday when it's your day to go to nursery?

Why do you always try and pick my mole?

Why do you take your shoes and socks off in the car?

Why were such incredible children given to me?

Why do I give myself such a hard time?

Why do I dedicate so much time to worry?

Why am I addicted to biscuits?

Why do you LOVE broccoli?

Why do you like cheese and pasta but refuse to eat macaroni cheese?

Why is giggle-time always 5 o'clock

Why are you shy with people you know well?

Why don't you like McDonalds?

Why do you like In the Night Garden so much?  

Why do I like In The Night Garden?

Why do you poke each other in the eye?  

Why when you've had me up several times in the night, I instantly forgive you when I see your cheeky faces in the morning?

The Rules
1. Post your whys – as few or as many as you like
2. Link up your post with Mummy Central and post a comment if you can
3. Tag 5 bloggers to keep this going
4. If you’re not a blogger, leave your whys as a comment below. We’d love to read them
5. Show your support by reading a few others and commenting on them

Who I'm tagging

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

A complaint on behalf of the masses

To whom it may concern
I’m writing to inform you of the confusion your guidelines have made in my everyday life.  I find your system completely baffling and my brain fuses when trying to work simple things out like distance or measures in cooking – and I don’t think I’m the only one.  Let me explain.
I was taught to use cm’s and mm’s when growing up.  The metric system is a solid way to determine distances and I knew where I was with a meter stick, or a 30cm ruler.  But why when I’m using the TomTom in my car does it refer to distances in Yards?  I thought that was an old Imperial system that went out with the ark?  But TomTom is a relatively new product.  Is it making a comeback like shoulder pads?
To make things more confusing, it seems to me that cm’s and mm’s are only used in distances along the ground because when I measure my height it’s in feet and inches.  So was your intention for us to use cm’s horizontally, and feet and inches vertically.  This seems far too complicated to me.
Then the confusion extends to the kitchen.  I was taught to cook with pounds and ounces.  I understand what yummy goodness comes from 4oz flour, 2oz of sugar, 2oz of butter and 2 eggs.  Lovely cake.  But can you explain why some recipes are given in grams and kilos?  What kind of cakey mess would I produce if I followed this?  Is it trustworthy?  And why is it we buy milk and alcohol in pints, but all other fluids in millilitres?  I know where I am with a pint.  But when we had children and  had to start measuring out their formula in millilitres, it threw me for six.  Do you know how cruel it is to confuse a new mum with her whirling hormones and sleep deprivation?  I was a walking nurturer, not a flipping converter.
And WTF are cups?  I saw it in a recipe the other day.  Like pounds, ounces, grams and kilos aren’t enough choice for you, there’s now BLOODY CUPS!  Are you talking about a small cup?  Big cup?  Is it relative?  It is a special cup?  Egg cup?  I mean come on!  Give me a chance.
And then some knob jockey from your association has decided to introduce us to kilometres.  Are you serious?  I can remember that one is slightly less than the other...but I can’t remember which one. 
I’m not even going to start complaining about why you ensured we learnt our weights in stones and pounds and then just changed it to kilos on a whim one day.  Was that day April fools by any chance? 
Do you think your association is suffering from an identity crisis?  Or are just firing off new forms of measuring without communicating to one another?  Or is it secret option number three – you’re all on drugs, and just messing with us. 
Whatever it is, you need to sort this mess out soon before me head explodes.  And a word of warning, If you change the pound sterling, I swear I’ll come down there and kick your arse.


Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Do birth order traits apply to twins?

It’s always amazes me that when I met my newborn twins, they came pre-packaged with distinct individual personalities.  I always assumed that a child’s behavioural tendencies were formed mostly by nurture.  But it wasn’t until I had my own babies that I understood the enormous role nature plays in forming little people.

I find personalities fascinating.  Why are people the way they are?  Why do some have very similar personality traits to other people?  I’m not someone who reads my daily horoscope to seek  guidance from the stars, but I do think there is something in star signs.  I’m a Virgo who are typically perfectionists, practical and analytical – which describes me well.  My twins (Itchy & Scratchy) were born in January, which makes them Capricorns.  Does this help understand their personalities?  Capricorns are serious, independent and strong willed.  This certainly describes the eldest twin. 

But here is where it comes unstuck... although my twin girls are identical (so have the same genetic make up), were born 2 minutes apart, were obviously born on the same day, and have the same parents...they are so very different.  Why?  I’ve been looking for theories to explain this difference.  Could  Sibling Order be it?

There’s growing evidence that depending on where you’re placed in the family, greatly determines the sort of person you are, your strengths and weaknesses.  The first born are typically leaders, confident, and want to manage others.   They want to be in control and consequently aren’t  big fans of surprises or like feeling out of their depth.  They are perfectionists and seek approval from authority figures.  They are high achievers and studies show that they have slightly higher IQ’s than their siblings.  The majority of CEO’s will be first borns.

The second born will have opposite characteristics to their older siblings.  They’ll be easier to get along will, be more flexible and can compromise.  They may have less drive than their older sibling but they will be the one to hold a group together and can keep the peace.  They put others first and they can feel left out in the family.

Fine out more about younger children. 

The reason for these changes are put down to a) the differing ways parents treat their children, and b) the way a child reacts to their other siblings.  It makes sense that a younger sibling will want to be different to their older brother/sister and have to develop better negotiating skills to get round their bigger more experienced sibling.  It also makes sense that an older child gets more attention from their parents and be relied upon to set a good example –pushing them to be high achievers. 

But what is interesting is my 19 month old twins (my only children) definitely conform to these personality traits and it’s not down to one having more attention than the other, or the younger one having to work around an older/more experienced sister.  They get the same attention and treatment and were born 2 minutes apart – but still show the differences listed above.

Scratchy (the eldest) is more physically dominant, reaches physical milestones first and is quite serious.  She is hard on herself if she can’t do something and dominates Itchy in every way, regularly stealing her toys.  She herds her like a sheep and will just push her (or sit on her) to stop her from having attention from me.  But she responds best to discipline and just loves to help me with chores.  Itchy (second born) is much more relaxed and playful.  She’ll let Scratchy be dominant and bide her time for attention.  She’ll happily hand over her toys and wait until Scratchy has cast aside before picking it up again.  She’ll try and cheer Scratchy up and make her laugh.  But discipline isn’t working as well with her, she just laughs it off and sees the fun.

There are parents of twins who keep the sibling order a secret until they are much older and I can understand why they might – to avoid rivalry and prevent them from falling into the typical birth order hierarchy.  But my twins are already showing these traits, and they’re far too young to comprehend ages.   I think honesty is the best policy and will just continue to try and give them the same attention, love and discipline as possible...and hope it’s not an issue.  There may well be parents of older twins who would recommend otherwise, in which case I’d love to hear from you. 

Do you fit into these birth order traits?  Do your kids follow this rule of thumb?  Do you put the differing personalities down to something else?  It’s a fascinating subject and if you have a view, I’d love to hear it.